Run-a-way Thoughts…It’s a “Constant” battle
Speech is silver and silence is golden–it’s a universal saying with your best interest at heart. Because the hardest thing for some to do is to hold their tongue – when it’s necessary.
Hi, this is Quoya again, I know this has happened to you so this will hopefully help you to better manage the situation better than I did, but I learned.
All weekend I was consumed with the thought that a certain person at my job was going to belittle me. I created every conceivable scenario of how to defend myself. If they said this or that, whatever they would say I would top it. I would respond quickly and harshly. I would give a response, so deep, so would end the conversation. (Their intent was to hurt, mine was to hurt worse). I was fired up and ready!
All weekend I replayed this over and over in my head. I worked myself into a frenzy- I was so angry, yet I was prepared for war. My blood pressure skyrocketed. I couldn’t get it out of my head. And if she calls me that “Imma __”! Still being controlled by my run-a-way thoughts.
WOW, how dangerous. The fear of an anticipated negative treatment. But even worse was my overreaction to something that I didn’t even know whether it was going to happen or not.
So I went to work Monday and this person that I was sweating about all weekend had been insensitive to me before. This person asked me to pass them a bottle of water, and I Snapped-mildly but aggressive – an inner explosion like I was the mental case that I had worked up to.
We communicate with our tones, our pitch, our key emphasis, and our emotional states. My mild snap was a bite filled with vinegar. It wasn’t the words themselves but the intent behind it that gave the few words I spoke a different meaning and taken to a different level.
When you speak your thoughts, as words they have power, which can destroy or build, in this case, destroy – JUST – because of your over-worked thoughts- a reckless imagination.
This reconfirmed the most true saying, “he who holds his tongue is wise”. You take their power away then you don’t respond–you cut off the oxygen. If you believe in yourself, then you don’t have to defend the trouble makers thoughts of you or what you’ve done.
“We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak”- Epictetus.
My co-workers who didn’t witness it heard about it. This put a blemish on my character, which is not
representative of the real person that I am. Although, such a disruptive display of sheer anger over a bottle of water left many wondering what kind of problem do I really have. A person out of control, I could not “x thesewords stick. I became the villain.
I actually reached a boiling point, in preparation and anticipation of a negative event that never happened. I had a run-a-way thought out of control. It had me upset, sweating, blood pressure increased all because of a over-exaggerate imagination.
Everyone around heard the insensitive remark/comment that person made towards me during the last encounter with them. So I didn’t need to dignify ignorance with a response. I should’ve been the bigger
person and held my peace and let them to look and feel like the fool that they are. My defense was worst than their attack. “I” was my worst enemy!
The real battlefield is in your mind.
In the heat of battle/anger, you will more than likely say the wrong thing.
You can control your thoughts, you can decide which ones you want to keep and which ones you want to get rid of. You “know” which ones are real and which are imaginary.
I’m sure you’ve heard it said in so many ways- “An Idle mind is a devil’s workshop”. Find something worthwhile to think about. What do you think about while waiting for the train to pass, or while sitting in the car waiting for your spouse to return from inside the store. If you dare think she was talking to the nice-looking male Manager (run-a-way) thoughts.
You must catch yourself and condition yourself to take over when you realize that your thoughts are running wild. Put them in check, and tell yourself that these thoughts that I’m having are not real events but rather a wild imagination.
Your brain is waiting for your suggestion or input. Learn how to switch from negative to positive quickly. (you will love it) Create thoughts of joy, and laughter, and think of things that are good. (you will love it) Train your brain to flip the scrip-when a coworker says “you need to get a life” say “thank-you I needed that-and smile”. Now that’s flipping the script! Put a funny picture in your head, and run with it!
The best thing you can do is to make a fool look like a fool without saying a word.
Be in control of yourself, not others. appreciate yourself and who you are and don’t compare yourself with others. Don’t worry about the future. Don’t hold grudges they just weigh you down, stop the resentment. Don’t overanalyze. Stay in control of your mind. Don’t let any thoughts runaway, take control. Stop them, and put them in check.
We have approx. 10,000 – 60,000 thoughts per day, most 98% are the same. Our thoughts come according to how we live, our environment- the people we interact with, and how we feel. We think about what we’ve done, what we are presently doing, and what we are going to do. Everything we do will have an outcome/result or will require a response. It is “HOW” we respond that will determine the final outcome.
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God Bless…