I Listened – Even Though I Thought I Knew it All

Some mistakes you just can’t learn from, they are to be avoided. It can make the difference between–Life and Death!


Hi everybody this is Quoya again (the author), they tried to hide me away but they can’t keep a strong lady down, we got stuff to talk about. I miss talking to you all and I owe you a joke, so imma keep talking while I think of one. What you guys been doing? I’ve been thinking about how to share my struggles from my teen years to early adulthood, cause I wasn’t perfect, but I wasn’t a loser either. So here it goes, Oh first I have to tell you this joke.

Joke: have you seen the movie called “Constipation”? Answer: No. Joke: of course not, it hasn’t come out yet!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I can’t stop laughing, every-time I tell this joke I just can’t stop laughing!! 😂😂😂 it’s funny…

In my late teens, I always listened to whom-ever was giving me advise, but I had the answer before they got through speaking. I graduated, I know what I was going to do and I’d waited so long (18 years) to be grown. My childhood was good but you just can’t beat doing what you want when you want, and don’t have to ask anybody for permission.

No disrespect intended…

Girl at the Beach Doing Jumpshot

I’m Free!!! I couldn’t wait to tell someone “I’m grown”. My friend asked me, Quoya where you going, I snapped, “I ain’t got to report to you, I go where I want when I want, I don’t have to answer to nobody”. She was going to offer me a ride, that’s all. But I snapped out of years of teenage wanna-be grownism. Oh, I got to relax, and get used to this new skin, it feels so good to finally be an adult. I’m gonna cry tears of joy.

The final act that solidified my adulthood, I moved out of the nest where I had been: nurtured, taught, trained, groomed, educated, motivated, inspired, appreciated, praised, and raised for 18 years. Just think, they taught me how to walk and talk, they taught me right from wrong, the good and the bad, and to share and not be selfush. They comforted me when I couldn’t tell them what was the matter with me.

Mirror Shot

My parents ensured that I was personable, analytical, rational, and intellectual–and that I had strong morals and Christian values. I understood the importance of good judgment and I possessed character, integrity, and honor. I am equipped with everything I need to make it, now it’s up to me.

Rehearsal is over. I’m steppin’ into the Real World!

So, when I got all set up in my very own apartment, my parents gave me a housewarming gift, a picture that was on my bedroom wall since my pre-teen years. It was a picture of a 10-foot hole in the middle of a super-highway. There were people going around the hole, but there were some who walking straight ahead,–falling into the hole.

Your Choice

There were several warning signs leading to this hole: Danger, Caution, Proceed with Caution, Do not Enter, Beware, Point of no Return–and a big sign which says “Your Choice”. I remember my parents telling me when I was about to mess up or do something dumb: “don’t do that or don’t go that way there is a 10-foot hole with some deadly stuff inside and you’re going to fall in”. During my learning years when I didn’t listen, I fell into that hole many times, but my parents were there to rescue me and pull me out. This picture is a constant reminder of the love-ones, family, friends and enemies-I witnessed their tragedies as they fell into that hole and never got out, and the ones that did get out were unrecognizable, they were beat-up and worn out.

My life and future depend on whether I choose Fun over Facts.


I’ve seen the results of alcohol, drugs and its deadly and devastating effects. They say “I’m just going to try it”. Well, their try became a life style,-they got hooked, stuck in that hole and they’re having a hard time trying to get out. Within the duration and process of trying to recover, it literally destroyed their lives. So, I’m going to learn from others mistakes and I’m not going to try the very things that I have personally seen destroy the lives of people I love. (just look around, you’ll see them,- lookin like Life Squeezed the Life out-of-um).

I watched in real-time, the destruction of the people I love–I “will not” go out like that!

Now that I have made up my mind, Ima reach back and get the survival lessons my parents taught me. I must beware of these predator’s-“Negative Peer Pressure People”. A peer is a person who is equal to another in abilities, qualifications, age, background, and social status, something of equal worth or quality. Social peer: pressure by members of one’s peer group to take a certain action, adapt certain values, or otherwise conform in order to be accepted.

Female Model

Some lessons are not to be learned-they are to be avoided. They can come with irreversible Consequences.

“Stop&Think”- am I creating a strong desire to fit in and be accepted? Spoken Peer Pressure is when a person asks, suggests, persuades, or otherwise directs another to engage in a specific behavior. **Be Aware of: Unspoken Peer Pressure, direct peer pressure, indirect peer pressure, and negative peer pressure.

**The key word is pressure. Many teens lack the mental maturity to control impulses and make wise long-term decisions and are more susceptible to influence from older or more popular friends. They engage in behavior that is against their morals or family values. Young people “lack the skills” to come up with an excuse or reason to say “no” to negative peer pressure.

Positive peer pressure is influence behavior that’s healthy, age-appropriate, and socially acceptable. (Wikipedia)

Note: I’m still the designated driver, and proud of it 😊 Quoya!

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We will always provide Motivation and Inspiration that “Commands Attention”.

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God Bless…



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  • Tonya Ashley

    This was absolutely amazing. Love it

    • A

      Thanks for your comment. This was not an ideal world. Both parents and child have had their struggles and still look at the amazing outcome. We believe with more positive messages and stories like this one, we will see more positive outcomes.

      Thanks again and God Bless…

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